What is BDSM? BDSM stands for bondage/discipline, submission/dominance, and sadism/masochism. These categories refer to a wide array of kinks and erotic practices. If you ask me, after the “Fifty shades of Gray” and Balenciaga revolt, I think everybody knows what BDSM means.
There’s still quite a bit of problematic misconceptions — especially regarding consent — to the wade through to get to the heart of what BDSM is all about. I’m sure that many of the things you heard were not very good, but that’s because the people you interact with don’t have the necessary information to understand and accept the idea of sexual freedom.
Drugs and alcohol and BDSM don’t mix. It’s a safety risk for everyone involved. Intoxication can make it harder — or impossible — to give consent and muddy your ability to make decisions. Why do I bring up the topic of alcohol and drugs? Because, again, BDSM is often associated with these vices. Fortunately, people who practice this activity constantly and in a safe environment know that drugs have nothing to do with sexual intercourse and that anything involving those activities can lead to unpleasant events that no one wants.
A lot of this will happen in the negotiation but also check in with your partner throughout scenes. Just because something is okay once, doesn’t mean it always will be, so ou have to communicate throughout the entire interaction, just to be SURE! Especially when it comes to such interactions, there needs to be communication! Before starting any procedure related to BDSM, you need to have “that” discussion with your partner, so you will know from the beginning what you are and are not willing to experience. If you don’t know from the beginning what you are willing to do, it will get to the point where you have disputes and start a conflicting conversation.
BDSM can improve your life by teaching you to advocate for your needs, and communicate more clearly. It is another way to rediscover yourself and to understand what you are and what “lies” in you. At the same time, you can develop skills that you were not aware of until now, and this certainly represents another stage of EVOLUTION. Congratulations! You are one bone closer to self-knowledge!
